It’s been a while. It seems that time flies by when you’re not in school and you’ve all the time in the world! But I’m still here and I have to say: the first year out of college is definitely a period of “trial and error.” It’s a weird chunk of time where you’re trying things out, finding what works and beginning to find your stride.
Right when I graduated college, all I knew was that I wanted to be a music journalist. That was all I knew and focused on throughout college. Writing was my first love and something that always came so natural to me; so when I fused my interests between writing and music, music journalism came out.
(Funny story: my passion for writing about music first stemmed from my young obsession with a little band from Utah and my desire to get just a little closer to them. My how far that desire has taken me!)
But when all I wrote about was music, I realized that I just wanted to be a part of it. A part of that world. I wanted to work with music, in music, even if it wasn’t writing about it. When I tried to make writing my job as a freelancer, the harder it became for me to write because I had nothing inspiring it.
In the past few weeks, I’ve realized that the solitary life of a writer wasn’t cutting it for me. I’ve always thrived working in social environments–in teams, with people and engaging with my community (of course, with the time to take a step back and work independently). Throughout my whole young life, I’ve been a part of dance communities and student organizations… I’ve loved being a part of a production, an organization, as a choreographer, director… Thanks to Peet’s, I’ve realized that I really do thrive working in fast-paced environments and multitasking (and am great at being a “wing woman,” team member or even handy little event helper #photoboothroadie).
Writing for me was something that has always been so precious to me. Ever since a young age, I never forced myself to write. And when I tried to force myself as a freelancer, I knew something wasn’t working.
I feel a change coming.
The biggest part of this first year of postgrad for me–especially being back home–was realizing what kinds of environments I thrive in: what lifestyles work, what interests keep hanging on, what keeps me curious, and maybe what things that are just mere distractions. I’ve never had a moment in my entire twenty-three years of life to know what the “outside” world (outside of being a student) was like. I was only ever surrounded by peers, students, kids, teachers and professors, and I never knew what life was like for the other individuals around me–the coffee shop barista, single mom, struggling artist, growing “Holden Caulfield” reaching adulthood without a college degree, dissuaded homebody and nine-to-fiver.
I’ve realized just how young I really am and how much I have to be hopeful about.
“How do you stay so happy all the time?” friends may ask me.
“I think it’s because I constantly have things to be hopeful about.”
I may be at a pause in my life, though I do know that I have been keenly absorbing the world around me. I’m realizing how I live, what interests me in my day-to-day life, and what things keep me excited and motivated. I am in constant conversation with myself and am always making sure that I live authentic and true to myself and my interests (the things that keep me down are just reminders of the things I need to address in my own life, whether it be the voids I need to fill, answers I need to address, or knowing when I have reached “my time” and am feeling ready for that next “thing”).
But, I am happy to admit to myself that I would happily write and contribute on my own, just “for fun.” The less I think of my writing as a job, the more natural it can come for me. I know that I need to gravitate towards the environments I can thrive in–the music, fast-paced work environments, communities I love being a part of, “foodie-ventures” and the “bigger picture” I want to be in.
And if it’s with the music, the people, the road or engaging with the “real” emotions that connect us all universally… I know that it’d be the perfect material to inspire my own writing.
I feel a calling back to live events. But I also know that the writing, the music I’m playing, the songs I’m creating, the videos I’m recording… That will never stop. I just know that I need to engage with the world in my own private little place of creativity. To go towards the things that get me excited and hopeful; to engage with the things I love; to produce and give solid work. And I think that’s what we all need to do in our everyday lives.
More updates to come soon. But from one music lover to another: if music is where you feel most alive, engage with it. Don’t be afraid to make what you love your work, as long as you find that place in it where you thrive.
I’ve a lot to look forward to.
With love and honesty,