Words simply cannot describe it. I can’t even begin to fathom all the cherished memories and moments this time around. From spazzing out from a fly running into my eye when running to congratulate a fellow leader to making a graceful fall as I leap my way up in front of the chapel, being a leader has made me extremely clumsy… and sassy! Too many fond and embarrassing, yet always cherished, memories have been made. Just enjoy the ride.
Although being a student leader is a completely different experience, I can say with complete confidence that it is a million x more worthwhile. From my experience as a participant in November, everything was still so new to me. I felt more enclosed and introverted, feeling hesitant in being more “open” because I was just a participant and not one of the faces of the retreat. It took time for me to grow into the experience, even if I was adamant in opening up–I just didn’t know what to say (“I feel like I have something to say. I just don’t know what it is!”). I learned so much from my experience in November that helped shape my current overall outlook and perspective on things–although, I’m sure it was always there, I suppose it never became apparent and “tapped into” ’til then. As a leader for April Kairos, I can proudly say that I have confidently felt I could live out what I have learned and felt free to just be–to use and live out everything I’ve learned and finally give a piece of myself. As it is always hard for me to express myself, my talk really helped start things off right since it is always easiest for me to express myself through writing and the tangible–I let my sassy side out and gave my quirks their proper light! but nonetheless, I have used the gifts I have and my own compassionate ear to put my best foot out there… and that really was what made a difference.
There’s a quote that goes, “When you’re in trouble, that’s the most perfect time to show how brave you are. You have to be bravest at your lowest.” When I was at my lowest, I rose with new insight and a perspective much greater than before. Everything happens for a reason, and Nothing is coincidence.
So, why am I here? I may not know the exact reason, but I believe God wants me to be here as an example for you all. As I am often a tough one to crack open, I believe I can be of some comfort to you, knowing that even the toughest ones to crack open really can open up. And they will still be okay.
Just enjoy the ride. This is the time to get to know your heart… and how could it be any better than this?
I guess you could say the first was the actual learning experience, and the second was the time to actually utilize it. (“I can tell. Your face is glowing!”)
We won’t be leaving by the same road that we came by…