RE: 12 Things Every Woman And Girl Should Know

Because The Huffington Post seems to have become my best friend in the past year. And because I’ve been becoming more open and clean with myself to others. And because my role as a woman has become of paramount importance in my life. AND because, as modern-day women, knowing, owning, and being okay with yourself is all you really need to survive.

These are pretty spot on. Love you Reddit.

Link to original “12 Things Every Woman And Girl Should Know”: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/19/12-things-every-woman-and-girl-should-know_n_4474067.html

Online communities are amazing places to get advice and suggestions, from listing the things every woman should have been told about sex to things you should never say to curvy women.

On a Dec. 18 Reddit thread, users answered the question “what’s something all girls/women should know?” Answers ranged from practical advice (“Be educated about your body”) to life mantras (“Don’t just aim to be pretty”) and reassurances (“It’s okay to enjoy porn”).

Here are 12 of Huffington Post Women’s favorite responses:

1. Few things are more important than your health. Schedule regular physicals and gyno appointments. Learn how to do a breast exam. And never be afraid to talk to a doctor if you suspect something is wrong, no matter how embarrassing — as merulian wrote, “they’ve seen it all before and they will not be alarmed.”

There’s not much you can hide from, including your body. Your body is your “temple”  and is a part of you, so taking care of it and knowing when something is wrong is important.

2. You don’t have to want kids. That’s not to say that knowing you do want children is bad — of course, it’s not. But opting out of motherhood is also a completely valid choice, no matter how much flak you may get for it from your family and friends. As memory-eater wrote: “You can have any reason you like for not wanting kids — a desire to keep your life for yourself, a dislike of children, a fear of pregnancy. There is an intense pressure for women to procreate, and most people out there aren’t going to understand the decision. F*ck ‘em. It’s your life, and your womb. No one can predict what you will or will not regret.”

We live in the age of the 21st-century woman where the “feminist” movement is back and women are pushing to be independent souls. For someone whose always lived to the beat of her own drum, don’t feel pressured by society to do anything you don’t want to. If you feel in your heart that you want something, go for it. Opportunities are given to us for a reason, and we can choose to walk away from them or not.

3. Always pee after sex. This will get rid of bacteria that may have accumulated in your urethra, lessening the chance that you’ll contract a urinary tract infection (UTI). And if you do have a UTI, heed miss-adler‘s advice: “If you have a UTI and your back starts to hurt really bad and you become feverish… it’s ER time.”

I don’t have anything to say about this, but… I’ll give this a thumbs up! I figure any unnecessary gunk won’t be good in the long run, anyway.

4. Make sure your bra actually fits. Get measured at your local department store or Victoria’s Secret for a bra that gives you, as theodoramarie says, “No more digging pains, no more discomfort. Only glorious curves.” It’s also a good idea to get re-measured every couple of years, especially if your body shape has changed.

For those of you who actually do have wondrous curves, I’m sure this will help out. Why prolong the discomfort? Solve the problem!

5. Cold water gets blood out of fabric, and hot water sets blood to stain. Thanks to 9703259573 for educating us on this: “If you get blood on clothing, rinse it with cold water ASAP. Then you can wash it as usual.”

*Thumbs up!*

6. Your body is not weird. We think HeeeyAssbutt said it best: “Boobs, bellies, legs, feet, ears, noses, EVERYTHING comes in all different sizes, shapes, and levels of hairiness. Quit judging yourself and others on the size of a thigh gap, how much belly comes out over the top of jeans, and how many damn chins someone has.”

Ahhh, when puberty stroke us in our teen years! When things started popping out of nowhere and things started happening to us. And then as we grew older and grew sensitive to how people would see how we look. It drives us insane, but, nobody loves insecurity, but rather someone who feels good in their own body. Marinate on that for a second.

7. It’s okay to enjoy, want and pursue sex. Maxxters advises: “Be comfortable with your sexuality and know there’s nothing wrong with having fantasies and desires and acting out on them in safe, consensual ways.”

We’re women. We have urges of our own. And why shy away from something that is so natural to us? Just know what you’re doing and be okay with it.

8. You don’t need to apologize for everything. As ohmycat points out, “It’s only two words but saying it 10 times a day every day will start to affect how you view yourself and others around you.”

This is a lesson I need to learn myself (since it becomes too easy for me to blame myself than another), but, there’s no good in being sorry for yourself all the time. Take the blame, own up to it, and don’t use when unnecessary. It’ll do you some good.

9. Basic home and car maintenance. Why rely on someone else to help you with simple tasks? According to vogueadishu, “You should always have a basic tool set in your house and know how to use [it], and the same with the trunk of your car.”

Learning how to take care and do things for yourself is important. Moving away from home for college has definitely taught me about myself, needs, and own living habits–and even how scantily I live (I could thrive on the road!)–but, even if you don’t know everything, know the answers to the small things, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

10. Be true to yourself. We couldn’t have put it better than Alexispinpgh: “Be exactly as funny, independent, smart, sexy, annoying, complicated, and talkative as you are. Someone will appreciate it and they’re the ones you want to appreciate you anyway.”

This has been my mantra since I was in the 6th grade and there’s nothing else I can really add to this. “Just be yourself; it’s the best character you could ever play.” Have no shame in what you do, who you are, how you are, and what you like. Ultimately, the people you want in your life are the ones who will appreciate you for you. What use is there in trying to be someone else that isn’t true to you? The people who stay in your life will appreciate you for you. Why waste time in that?

11. It’s better to be alone than with the wrong partner. Funchy‘s advice to heterosexual women can be applied to almost any romantic relationship: “You cannot and should not try to change the other person. If you can’t accept and love him as he is, he’s not right for you. If he doesn’t make you happy as he is, move on.”

Ahhh, well this relates to my post from last month, “11 things I’ve learned about Love, Relationships, and Myself“! You’re most ready to be in a relationship when you’re able to live comfortably alone. You gotta learn to love yourself before you can love another. And you should always know what you deserve! What you deserve is to love yourself and have someone worth loving you. Never accept anything less. Please–before I start to rant again!

12. “Feminist” is not a dirty word, contrary to what some celebrities would have you believe. We agree with zombiekittiez on this one: “If something isn’t fair or isn’t right, you don’t have to keep quiet and act like a ‘lady.’ You are a person before you are a woman.”

I use the word “feminist” sparingly because of its bad connotations, but I still am not afraid to voice my own opinions about controversial issues such as pornography, Don Jon, and actually having some respect for Miley Cyrus. Maybe I’m an all-too-forgiving person. Maybe I sympathize too much. Maybe I’m too open to things, or see the good in everything too much. But, I am who I am and, no matter how quiet I may have been in a lot of my young life, I’ve had my own thoughts about the world as well. And I plan on sharing those thoughts in whatever ways I know best.

Here goes my little cheesy rant about why I do the things I do, but… Perhaps as someone who has always observed and learned a lot from her elders in her young life, I’ve taken caution to my own life. My “dreaming” would anger me when I would see no personal action taking place, so, I took to music. To writing. To dancing. To express myself in the ways I know best and am most comfortable with. And, even when I do shrink up a lot at times and am too concerned about how others feel and can oftentimes put their needs before mine, this is the one thing I can selfishly take for myself–my thoughts, my words, my actions, my art.

So, I will preach on about how I love this musician. Or why I love classic rock. Or am nostalgic about the 80s even though I never lived in it. Or why I love to humanize women in porn. Or why I have so many womanly influences as opposed to guy-crushes. Or even why I find the Filipino culture through dance so fascinating!  These are the things that inspire and push me to be who I am and not be afraid to be it. Women have a history of being more oppressed within our society, and downplayed to insignificant, “token” roles as eye-candy; but, the women I admire are actively being who they are as equals in this world. As this list of “12 Things Every Woman And Girl Should Know” touches on a lot of important little thoughts I’d like to say more about, I think, when it comes down to it, it’s all about knowing yourself and owning up to yourself. We’ve all got room to grow and learn, but, as long as we take these things to heart, we can see some real improvements.

Happy holidays, folks. 😉

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