And just like that, another year has come to an end.

There’s been a fun little Instagram challenge going around called “6 Year Evolution of You,” chronicling a photo of you from 2018-2023.

I thought it was a good incentive to look back at my own growth and evolution throughout the years.

My mid-to-late 20s have been, just like anyone else, a period of adventure, messiness, uncertainty and growing pains.

From a doe-eyed dreamer in 2018 finding her place in LA and doing her first photoshoot with a friend at the age of 25, to 2019’s year of returning back to myself and reclaiming my love for myself amidst years of being an avid music journalist stuck in a toxic cycle of an “almost relationship,” to 2020‘s year of the pandemic surviving through music, friendship, and the coffee shop, to 2021’s end-of-year burnout to my spiritual growth and rise as a leader for the coffee shop, at the height of balancing friends, work, community and my art, to 2022’s year into a new relationship that bud after years of friendship, and 2023’s final “death to my 20s” year of looking within, looking back, feeling stuck but finding comfort in the new self I was acknowledging I was becoming.

A lot can happen in a few years and I’m grateful for the growth.

As I look to the new year ahead, I’m excited to set down some real ground work for all the unfinished projects, works, skills and pursuits of joy I’ve left behind.

I’ve never been one for New Year’s resolutions, but I’ve always found it natural to reflect on where I’ve been, where I’m going, and where I currently am to serve as a natural compass for my life.

While I spent most of my teen years and mid-to-late 20s earnestly writing my life away — and in turn finding myself through it — I find that I’ve spent the past few years away from my computer and more immersed into living my life. Less reflection, more action. No more moodiness, constant reflecting and writing my life away. Just more presence, for better or worse.

If I had one thing to say about this past year, it’s that it brought me my second year into my relationship, where the “new-ness” of it all began to turn into a familiarity and comfort, something my independent “anti-relationship” self was always averse to and had to get used to. I fell into the stability of us, allowing ourselves to travel more, set goals together, plan trips together, include loved ones and friends around us. Building, as I like to call it. When I used to be so set in my own ways and lost in my own dream world, searching for connection, expression and community, it’s nice to have someone ground me back to reality and actively build something with and towards. It’s completely new to me, but good for me.

At this point, I feel I’ve already stepped into my own, but feel there is still so much untapped.

Call me a romantic, but I’ve always seen my life as one big movie, waiting to be written.

Music and writing have always been my driving forces in life. They are my sources of my biggest passions, inspirations, and purpose. Creating music that moves the soul, reading and writing stories that reflect back onto another? Those are some of the most powerful things and feelings on this planet, I’d say, and I’d do myself a disservice to neglect that core part of myself — the very ways I found myself, shared myself, expressed myself, and found so much joy with you all here, online, for the past 15+ years.

With all my introspection and soul-searching throughout my twenties, I continuously ask myself, “What is it I’m searching for?” I’ve found that while I may enjoy little accomplishments here and there — some big, some small, but still very important for those stages in my life — I’m always looking for more. Maybe it’s some internal sense of fulfillment, like what I’ve put out into the world matters or that I can touch people’s souls in my own unique way. To leave a lasting imprint or impression. To leave people feeling better than the way they came.

I think at 30 and the year of 2024 means finally taking myself a little more seriously and diligently. It may mean taking more time to hibernate, look within, and get writing. It may mean taking up new hobbies, signing up for more classes, or taking a career pivot more aligned with myself. It may also mean to stop sleeping on myself and my own potential, and just have fun with the process of it all again, and work towards finishing.

I’m happy to say I feel at peace with it all. Sometimes we need to take a little step back from the things we’ve loved, that we’ve always done, to kind of reconfigure ourselves in a way. I’ve always been one who’s expected so much of herself and wanted so much for herself, only to feel disappointed if I fail to live up to my own expectations. Where does this come from? I’m not quite sure, but I feel like we all have this inborn feeling of feeling like we’re meant to do or be something.

I’ve always listened to that. And I’d like to return to that.

I forgive myself for my years of surviving, hustling, and being stuck in a cycle of existing in mere “survival mode.” I’m beyond that now.

May we all continue to step into ourselves, more and more, in this new year.

Happy new year, y’all. It’s good to be back and to be writing candidly, once again. And I can’t wait to write you again.

With love and honesty,

Rachel