Moving Out and Moving On

Photo: Vincent Trinh (@visontrinh)

I’ve always been the biggest advocate of self love and self care, in whatever way that means to you.

Ever since this pandemic started, I watched the world slow down as things only seemed to get faster for me. We were all quarantined and forced to become homebodies, and I was genuinely excited for it. I was thriving. “Age of the introvert,” they say. But the stresses started to kick in and my environment became to wear me down as friends lost jobs, became bored out of their minds, leaned on me for support, guidance, and navigating these times to… just stay sane. I had to be a rock as the world around me seemed to crumble lol.

Where you put your attention and energy is what comes back to you, I’ve believed. And a way to solve this is to strip yourself of everything that is no longer serving you.

Overextending myself and placating to the people around me has always been something I’ve struggled with. I care deeply for the people around me that my own needs can go to the wayside. I can put myself in positions where I “settle” with the circumstances and never give myself what I truly want and deserve.

Which is why I’m going away. I’m taking my time back. I’m giving myself the time I wish I had and needed. I’m going to a place I haven’t been to in half a year. And I’m retreating.

When all I’ve ever wanted was to feel a sense of home, safety and security when it came to having a place to rest and put my head, I’m stripping myself of all of that for now.

And I wouldn’t be a good advocate for self love and care if I weren’t doing so.

Follow your bliss. Follow your heart. And really listen to that, as my younger self would always say…

See ya soon. Be careful. Be well. Stay in love.

I’ll be in touch.

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Remember when we were recording every other day and I lost sleep and went to work and slept at 5am and still went to work but we were living it and doing it and so excited to get out there because we were on such a roll…?! • Yeah, 2020 seemed to slow a lot of things down. But as I’ve always been an adaptable person, able to change to my environment and times rather easily, I flowed into the “new normal.” I accepted it, worked twice as much as I normally did, carried the burdens of friends dealing with these difficult times while I myself was still putting myself out on the frontlines holding up a cafe, trying to tend to myself given a stressful time stretching me every direction. As I tend to get sappy and bittersweet with the “end to anything,” I like to see change as necessary growth. Who knows how long I’ll be away. Maybe I’ll end up being a gypsy. Maybe I’ll be an endless wanderer constantly soul searching until she finds her place. Or maybe I’ll just come back, because my wandering ways never got me anywhere… Lol, oh the romanticism of it all. Either way, these times are difficult and I’ve embraced them. And I have so much love for the people who have been my biggest support, friends and personal fans throughout. Kaitchella‘s still here, trust. But as I’ve learned with any endeavor, it’s the time away to really sink in that is really necessary. Even if it’s for yourself. Life happens as it always does — and maybe I’ve just learned to better navigate the hurdles now than my naive 24 y/o who first moved here would have been able to. #endsappypost, lol. More to come, for sure. Stay tuned. • 📸 @timosumida #photoshoot #redandblue #rue #kaitchella #ilan #music #musicians #duo #musicduo #femaleduo #comingsoon

A post shared by Rachel Ann Cauilan (@rachelcansea) on

With love and honesty,



2 responses to “Moving Out and Moving On

  1. Pingback: Home, Again | beauty within·

  2. Pingback: Beginning Again (and Again) | beauty within·

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