Hi! It’s been five years since I last did my #vlogwithajog series and, as I was back home amongst my favorite mountains and trees for the past two months, I felt defeated as I was tackling “Big Love” and got sidetracked and went on a reflective ramble (this always happens unexpectedly, ya?).

“When I packed my car and my bags to start a new life for myself, three or four years ago, I didn’t know anything. I just knew that I wanted to do something and do the things that felt right to me, to push myself to uncomfortable limits.”

I wasn’t expecting to share or post such an off-the-cuff video of me mid-song going on a reflective ramble, but while I was (pretty much) talking to myself, I thought I’d put this out there and share it with y’all, even if I have no idea if any of you would even want to listen to me ramble.

Naturally, these past few months have been a great period of reflection for a lot of us, and as my life has had so many continual moves and temporary living situations ever since I left the Bay for LA in the summer of 2017, the need to “stir things up” and change my environment was something I was used to — and I always found my way back home.

I broke this vlog up into three parts (for IGTV purposes), and I have to say, taking a mental break from everything by leaving LA, relieving the burnout, the stress, ridding of everything that wasn’t serving my life or self, and returning home to have a fresh start and really feel into my “power” after all I’ve learned and become in the past three years, was the best thing I could have ever done for myself.

I really can’t believe it’s been five years since the beginning of those postgrad/after-graduate years (“Vlog with a Jog”), and I feel like so much immense growth, awareness, confidence and change has happened for me.

I look at old videos and posts from my younger self, and I see how eager that girl was to learn, to grow, to experience — but also how much grit, grind and confidence she had to cultivate just by putting herself through some unideal situations and putting herself in a city she knew no one, would be alone, would be isolated from her safety net and also feel some of her darkest feelings, ever.

I am so grateful to have reached this place in my life, where I feel free, stable, incredibly in love with my energy and self. And damnit, I’m happy, at peace, energized, in charge of my life and taking incredible care of myself, while having an ease and having fun and holding all my boundaries far and wide while still making space for those when necessary.

My only hope is to express something and have it resonate with someone, anyone, if anything.

More to come, soon. I promise.

🤍

With love and honesty,

Rachel