In honor of my monthly “vlog” series, I thought I’d take you along with me on my daily morning jog!
I’ve experienced a lot of ups and downs these past couple of weeks–more than I’m used to experiencing–but I’ve realized that they’ve been entirely healthy for me. I’ve learned that these moments can force you to come to terms with parts of yourself you may have hidden yourself from (such as my finding my home in a place that doesn’t feel like my home anymore, dating to realize settling ain’t always good, searching for things I don’t even know and accepting parts of myself that haven’t changed all that much from high school).
In short, I have been spending my time as:
- a part-time barista
- a (future) part-time freelance writer
- a part-time musician/guitar teacher
- a girl trying to find her roots in a place that doesn’t feel like her home anymore.
Having this time to take that step back from everything has been really healthy for me. I’ve been recognizing the value of family and friendship again–something I may have distracted myself from for so many years; I’ve been spending a few hours every day of the week picking up shifts at a coffee shop, which keeps me up and out (and done miracles to my schedule as I’ve suddenly becoming a morning person with so much more caffeine power to work out); and I’ve been holding on to hope for my staying here in the Bay Area–a place I have distanced myself for so long because of those young dreams I had chased down in Southern California for the past four years.
More often than not, I’ve been living “day to day,” which has been a startling change for me. Apart from being my usual excited and hopeful self with rose-colored glasses, it’s as if a part of myself has turned off. I don’t feel as excited or motivated as I used to.
But, I won’t write this place off yet. I’ll give it its time.
“Everything is temporary,” as I always tell myself.
When you have those days where everything just feels right and you feel good and you’re in your element, don’t be afraid to capture it.
Share it. Share your light.
With love and honesty,