“Fall returns what leaves back to its roots,” I read.

Every day I’ve learned to be grateful — for my journey, the process, the unfolding. I’m glad I always trusted myself, was gentle, patient, and forgiving.

If there’s one thing I’ve always wanted to so passionately pass on, it’s that you should never live your life searching or seeking for love. Find it in yourself, first.

Cultivate that real, special love for yourself first, and everything else will flow right to you.

I’m writing this as a reflection of these times — the great love I’ve found for myself, for another, and for always trusting my journey.

I never imagined I’d fall into a relationship like this this year, during a time of great “spring awakening” and “spring healing,” to coming and growing into my own.

When like souls meet like souls.

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Having a partner includes me in another world, sometimes thrown into another life and path and vision while you were so focused on your own. Perhaps it opens up another part of yourself you’ve been craving all along. And sometimes, while feeling all these things, you dig into those feelings of being young and reckless, without a care in the world, and feeling like a kid again, if just for a moment… because you know that just as fast as those times may come, that rare pocket of freedom for you to “lean in” may pass as well.

I’ve always craved deeper experiences and feelings. I amount music and my guitar for taking me there.

There’s so much inside of me that I long and wish to share, create, express. Oftentimes I can feel stuck. Searching for new ways to do so. New paths that allow me to. A community to help me thrive.

I’ve been shedding so much of the old and meeting this new part of me who knows herself so much better and isn’t willing to back down or settle into old habits or patterns that only distance her from herself.

It’s like I carry this new responsibility.

To step into the light. The light you’ve always shined and shined onto others.

But sometimes you gotta keep it to yourself, to shine in a way that truly matters to you, instead of so freely giving it away.

Here’s to reminding yourself of what you’ve always loved in times life can feel so damn heavy.

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With love and honesty,

Rachel

To view my full recaps, click below:
“Twentynine”
“Spring Awakening”
“Spring Healing”
“A Summer 2022 Slow-up”
“Closing in with Winter 2022”