April, you’ve been gentle to me.
One of the things I love about doing these monthly vlogs is that it forces me to take a moment to reflect on where I am at this point in my life — how my year has been going, how my progression has been, how my months and life have changed, how I’ve changed and how I’m feeling in the heart, mind, body and soul.
Also, I get to choose a song that I feel best encapsulates the feel and overall vibe of my month, and I could not be any more happier to use one of my favorite songs of all time this month, by the lovely Kate Earl.
“I tried to do the right thing, you’re the only one who knows
Thunder caught me lightning struck me, oh so long ago
You opened up the heavens babe, you opened up this rose
I was just a game to you but still it’s you I chose
‘Cause you give me that, wicked love”
I haven’t felt this sense of ease and grace in a long time. I started this tenth (?!) month off with an unexpected trip back home, which ended up being an incredible little getaway to rediscover, reinspire and find the music and muse in myself again (“Rediscovered”). I learned how to be easy on myself, revisiting my day-to-day life before I moved as I actively tried to take that love and warmth and positivity with me as I returned back to Los Angeles. And, it’s done me good.
While home, I’ve been able to silence the noise and listen to my own voice again. I’ve rediscovered myself — my power, voice and the incredible life of opportunities in front of me, waiting for me to take them.
I actively tried to take it slow this month and focus on the things that I felt truly mattered to me and could benefit myself, my health and sanity. I’ve spent more time trying to get some more guitar in day in and day out (discipline is everything and my skills as a guitarist could definitely be improved — I’ve so much to learn!); get a couple light jogs in on the daily (because I enjoy running and should always make time for it); spend more time to be social with friends (that work-life balance 50/50 is essential for health and happiness, and it’s always important to have friends to keep you in check); and focus on the opportunities and moments that I feel I could grow the most in (more concerts, more write-ups, more opportunities for shooting/photographing/videography, and more networking).
This newfound focus and inspired version of myself has already been making me feel grateful for the people, places, moments, conversations and opportunities I’ve had in such little time. More nights out with friends to form genuine connections with potential networks feel that much more natural and real.
“You’re really good at engaging with your followers,” a friend said. “Keep doing what you’re doing. You have a warm personality and people can feel that. No one can do you better than you.”
In this crazy little city where I feel I don’t necessarily relate to most people, I often tell myself that I have my own self to offer — my own story, upbringing and perspective. It doesn’t matter how I do it or who I do it with, because I’m living life in the way I feel is best to me — and that is refreshing in itself.
“Keep working. The world needs more talent and hopeful people. I think you fit the bill.”
I’ve been feeling the love. I feel the community. I feel the warmth. I feel the encouragement and belief, and that in itself keeps me knowing that I’m doing alright.
So thank you to the ones who inspire me:
- to Jess, for being a distant Instagram friend but your life and brand has reinspired the strong and independent woman inside of me (and how cool a #girlgang can be)
- to Shota, for being a musician whose music I loved to just being so damn cool and oozing with your infectious love of music, for welcoming me into your world
- to Kitty, for giving me hope that badass video girls exist and that we can someday work on some badass collab project
- to Cyril, for being my long lost twin (somehow) and being down to eat, explore, indulge in our laziness but also bring passion and excitement to the creative souls we have inside
- to Daniel, for always bugging me since college but that I will never get tired of
- to Luna, for always being so supportive of my life and dreams and knowing our friendship can go decades beyond
- to AJ, for being one of the most badass homies I’ve made out here in LA and always being so supportive and encouraging, not only as my running buddy, but also as my biggest fan and connector (and hell, I’ve only ran 5ks and said “eff it” to signing up for that 10k and did it all because I put my mind to it — hell yes)
- to Danny, because since college you’ve seen my work ethic and continue to find paths for me
- to Ken, for always being so down with my love of music, for shooting, for creating, for our talks on growing up and trying to get the honesty in our music out
- to Lilan, because I’ve been waiting to meet you since I interviewed you back in January and your life, words of advice and overall personality just reminds me there can be people like me out there, and persistence always trumps talent
- to Angela, because you were one of the first friends I made out here in LA (who was also my age) and I have to say, your social presence is always so fun to be around
- to Patty, to Les, to Giann, Homer, my Broskis, Edamommy (for that car accident that woke the life up in me) and all the friends who surround me and make me feel encouraged, supported and loved. I’m getting sappy here, but y’all fill my heart with so much <3.
It’s been a wonderful month and I’m feeling very hopeful about where I am right now. The wheels are turning, things are happening, my network is expanding and I’m finding and loving myself again.
Things are alright.
I’ll take that wicked kind of love.
With love and honesty,
View my past video blogs below:
Forever On The Road
One Sky, Six Months
Looking For You, Five Months In
Quarter Month Crisis
Third Month’s the Charm
I Adjusted Month Two
I Survived One Month