I started the month off with a family emergency trip back home, drove 400 miles north, 400 miles back south, only to catch an early morning flight at LAX and miss it to spend the next 24 hours in airports in Los Angeles, Seattle and finally to Boston.
“In need of a staycation,” I mentally told myself.
Being constantly “on the road” was a big theme of the month. My body grew fatigued and my allergies were out of whack; I nursed myself back to health and spent six hours on the road up and down the coast half-asleep wanting a bed to lay in and a moment to catch my breath.
“I think I know what tour life would feel like,” I told a friend.
But as busy as this past month has been, I’ve shared so many special moments.
My brother turned 30 in Boston, and our mini sibling trip (and my first time on the East Coast) was warming, humbling, exciting and exhausting all at once. From Boston bars to nightclubs, basketball games, national museums and too much seafood for my stomach to handle (I wish I could have done a little run out there), it was nice to lay my worries to rest. The older we get and the more adult we become, we realize family members are passing right before our eyes and those cherished moments are everything.
A low moment at home also helped me realize what it is we’re all living for. As I’ve been thinking more about my future work and long-term goals, I’ve found balance is everything:
I want to support myself, I want to support a family, I want to have my own kids someday and the best example you could be is that you are actively living out your passions and being an active role model and example of someone they can be, too. Your kids can not only learn from you, but you from them as well. It’s about finding a way to support yourself in order to support all other aspects in your life, as well.
As I took a week to recuperate and find my groove again, I plunged into a week full of concerts and shows — some from a new friend I made of film composers, some who I’ve connected with and became “long lost Filipina sisters” with, some who musician friends brought me out to meet, others whose music I strongly believe in or where the genuine love of music allowed me to shoot, film, photograph, write, but also enjoy without the need to work. It’s all been a big realization of how far I’ve come in just seven months and my natural inclination I have towards building those relationships.
“As you are fully aware of responsibilities of a young adult, be reminded that you are a talented individual with many passions … You don’t have to land your ‘dream’ job right now, but rather find a job that lays a foundation of developing your skill set towards that ultimate goal. You will have lots of opportunities … take a leap forward because you have already taken mini steps to get to where you are now!”
I can be overly hard on myself that the feeling of not working can sometimes make me anxious. I have the tendency to distract myself and plunge myself with shows and friends to shoot and write; I crave road trips and getaway trips just to get my mind off the instability of my life. But when I have opportunities everywhere and so much potential inside of me, I need to quiet the noise, center myself and find my groove again. It’s okay to not feel okay at times, and the first step is the acknowledgment of that.
A part of me felt wrong to pamper myself with a complimentary weeknight staycation at Pechanga Resort & Casino last week, but from working so hard and plunging so deeply into my work the past seven months, this was kind of my gift to myself (and besides, when will I ever have the opportunity to stay at a hotel free of charge, with my own room and getaway?!).
So pamper yourself. Sunbathe a little. Buffet it up and enjoy a friend’s company. Spend nothing, win everything. Sleep in your bed all day. Walk around in your underwear and leave your clothes all over the room. Take a dip in the pool. Remember what it is like to be and feel alive with yourself and body — and love yourself. (Yes, that second-day staycation was absolutely magical!) I don’t give myself enough credit for the work that I do, so I should enjoy it.
Some of the biggest takeaways I’ve had this month? Don’t worry so much. Laugh at yourself a little. If you feel undeserving of your money or situation, you will feel trapped by it. Perspective is everything. Change the way you see things. You are deserving of what you have. See everything as an opportunity, not something to be trapped by. Money is everywhere, so find the way you want to make it. Live out your passions. Treat your body well. Foster real and honest connections, relationships and friendships. Be willing to be vulnerable. Be willing to walk away from toxins, toxic things and individuals. Inspire and educate your mind, body and soul. Develop a strict schedule and routine for yourself so that you wake up everyday with a goal. (Also, get rid of the creeps in your life.)
Life’s too short to worry. Have fun. Smile a ton. Pamper yourself. Quiet the noise. Be good and kind to yourself. Remember the beauty you exude and beauty you have. And also, get sh*t done.
Take a look back at February’s month on the road in my video below. From sunbathing to living in my car, it’s been fun (and naturally, I had to give it up to my boys from The Millennial Club, whom I finally met and strongly believe in, and use their song “love is so hard!” as the theme for this month. Enjoy!). Here’s to falling in love with life all over again. ❤
With love and honesty,